


Great Minds Think Alike

by lallybyrne



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dorks in Love, Fluff, M/M, Married Melissa McCall/Sheriff Stilinski, Misunderstandings, Pregnancy, Romantic Comedy, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 21:32:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4115617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lallybyrne/pseuds/lallybyrne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time Derek sees the guy around town, he’s a whirlwind. An unfairly attractive, mesmerizing whirlwind. An unfairly attractive, mesmerizing whirlwind who seems determined to take the best possible care of his very pregnant girlfriend. Derek has the worst luck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**YOUR FAVORITE SISTER** (9:53): TJ’s is only open until 10 db, hope you’re using your lights and sirens

(9:54) _stop changing your name in my phone, idiot. i’m already here, is the candy in an aisle or at the registers?_

 **YOUR FAVORITE SISTER** (9:54): stop setting passwords i can instantly guess. this is what happens when you never allow yourself candy/joy. it’s at the register, stop wasting time or i will start this movie without you

(9:56) _it’s not like we haven’t seen it a million times, if you really want to start it you -_

Derek looked up from his phone to apologize to whoever he bumped into, and stopped short, bewildered. His job on the force usually involved dealing with people at their worst, but he’s not sure he’s seen anyone look more frazzled than the man in front of him. His short hair is sticking in every direction, his shirt is inside out and backwards so the tag is right under his chin (which should be noticeable unless you are really, truly out of it), and even though he stopped when Derek bumped into him he still seemed to be sort of...vibrating in place.

“Uh, sorry man, so sorry, I totally didn’t see you there, totally my fault, though I think you were texting so actually probably like 70/30 your fault, but also totally my fault I’m in a huge rush and not at all watching where I’m going and also can you help me I need to find a dark chocolate cookie butter bar and I’ve walked up and down every aisle and I’ve been gone for almost 20 minutes now and Allison is going to actually, literally kill me and I’m too young to die” the man rushed out, and then took a deep breath and looked at Derek as though any of that were comprehensible.

“Um...no problem? I’m actually here for the same thing, my sister just texted me that they’re up at the registers, so...yeah.”

“AWESOME thank you you’re a life saver, pregnancy cravings, ya know? It’s like one minute all food is repulsive and the next minute she needs a peanut butter and pickle sandwich or she’ll die, and tonight it was these freaking candy bars which sound delicious but I doubt I’m going to get to eat any of it so I guess I’ll never know, ya know?”

“Uh, yeah.”

By the time he had rushed through the second monologue they had made it up to the last open register, and Derek and the stranger realized at the same time that there were only two chocolate bars left in the box. The man looked apologetically at Derek, sprinted forward, grabbed the entire box, threw a $20 at the cashier, and ran out of the store.

Derek brought home the milk chocolate version instead, let the bewildered cashier keep the change from the stranger’s drive-by purchase, and half-heartedly listened to Laura bitch about how much better the dark chocolate would have been while he pondered how pathetic he was for finding a stressed-out, soon to be new dad so attractive.


	2. Chapter 2

Most days Derek liked being a deputy. Days like today, though - days where the monotony of paperwork was broken up by a domestic violence call that was recanted by a terrified looking woman with a black eye by the time he made it to her house; days where he knew he wasn't going to be able to forget the dejected look on her daughter’s face as she watched him drive away; days where no matter how hard he worked he knew that there were people he couldn’t help - days like today really fucking sucked. 

Drinking was not the way to help with those days. The Sheriff gave him that talk on his first day. He told him, with understanding in his voice, that while it felt like a good option in the moment, drinking would always end up making you feel worse. Once whiskey was your coping mechanism you lost the ability to really cope at all. Some days, though, no matter how hard he tried, Derek couldn't think of anything else to help himself sleep. He knew after a drink or two he'd call Laura, or Cora, or Mark. One of his siblings would come over and sleep on the couch and, if it was Laura or Mark, make him laugh until he had forgotten, or if it was Cora, make him talk about what happened until he could really deal with it. For now he just needed a drink. 

He pulled into the liquor store closest to his apartment intent on getting in, grabbing a fifth of Canadian Club, and getting out with as little human interaction as possible. His couch was so close he could feel it, and if he tried to call his family before he got home there was a very real chance he might cry.

He walked in, nodded at the cashier’s perfunctory greeting, and headed to the corner where he knew the whiskey was. As he reached up for what looked like the last fifth, an arm jostled into his. He watched in horror as long fingers wrapped around the bottle he was reaching for. The stranger pulled the bottle down and turned away from the (loud, slurred) conversation he was having with his friend. Derek looked up at him, and recognized the dad-to-be from Trader Joe’s.

“Dude, it’s you! Scotty, this is the ho- the guy I was telling you about, who saw me act like a complete crazy person at TJ’s when I was trying to get Ally that candy she’s obsessed with, oh man I am so sorry you must have thought I was on drugs, that was a rough night after a rough couple of days, man were you reaching for this, I feel like I owe you after I snatched the last chocolate the other night...and…” the guy’s bright grin faded as he looked Derek up and down. 

Derek had no idea what he was broadcasting but he was certain it wasn't good. The thought of mustering up some sort of social nicety felt impossible, so he just grabbed the bottle and turned around without saying anything. He heard the guy’s friend (Scotty, apparently) whisper something, but he focused on making the transaction and left the store without turning back. 

It was rude to just grab the bottle and not say anything. His mother would be pissed if she had seen that interaction. His boss would be pissed at his “community outreach” skills (also at the drinking, but Derek wasn’t thinking about that). But on the other hand, what the hell was this guy doing out partying and leaving his pregnant wife (girlfriend, his mind supplied, definitely no ring) sitting at home. Clearly he hadn’t needed this particular bottle, and if nothing else his caveman act was no worse than the guy’s insane chocolate grab the other day, and god he needed to start the car, drive home, and call someone because clearly he was getting a little stuck in his head tonight. By the time he looked up from the steering wheel, the parking lot was empty.


	3. Chapter 3

Sheriff Stilinski had the entire force over for barbecues a couple of times a year to promote “workplace bonding.” Derek’s first day had been the Monday after one of the parties, and somehow he had ended up working at the department for ten months before another one came around. He showed up at the Sheriff’s house on a pretty Saturday afternoon in with a six-pack of good beer (not snobby, Peter, it’s not snobby just because they don’t have it on tap at the dive bars you love, shut up). 

Following the sound of laughter and rapidly-switching music, he walked around the back of the house to see most of the department was already there. The Sheriff was manning the grill and talking with a pretty brunette who Derek thought he recognized from the hospital. Boyd and Reyes were sharing a hammock and looked about two minutes from flipping it over with their tickling (Derek hadn’t even realized they were together - he should definitely socialize more with his coworkers). Looking around for a cooler to stash the beer, he noticed a table covered in food with a stereo at one end being manned by an extremely pregnant woman. She was beautiful, with long brunette curls and a sweet open face, and as Derek watched she started laughing so hard she snorted. He looked around, startled, and spotted...him. The man from the grocery store, and the liquor store. He looked bright and relaxed, in a BHPD t-shirt and shorts, and he’d stolen the iPod from the pregnant woman and was changing the song again (thank god, because no, Pharell, no one is happy after over a year of this stupid song).

This must be the girlfriend, Ally (and no it’s not weird that he remembers her name, he’s a police officer, he’s supposed to pay attention to detail, and it’s not because he’s jealous, and it’s certainly not because the guy’s forearms are perfect). They look great together, comfortable and happy, and Derek is wondering whether it’s a boy or a girl (or if they decided to find out) when he realizes he’s been staring at them for almost a minute. 

The man is looking back at Derek through sunglasses that frame his face perfectly (jesus Hale get it together) and tilts his head for a second, confused.

“Hey man! Uh, how’s it going? Fancy seeing you here...at my house. Well at least I’m pretty sure we won’t have to fight over the last...anything here because it’s my backyard and all, and oh my god wait is that Spotted Cow? Dude! I thought they didn’t sell it outside of Wisconsin! Oh man Scotty and I took this ridiculous road trip across the country after college but he graduated in December so we were driving around the Midwest in the middle of January and got snowed in in Lake Geneva and we were there for like four days and the lady at the B&B paid us in food and beer for shovelling out all of her driveways and we drank so much Spotted Cow and it was SO GOOD and we haven’t had it since and I need to have one is that cool?”

Derek was speechless in the face of this confusing, gorgeous man. He was about to try and open his mouth to offer him a beer when he felt a hand clap down on his shoulder.

“Stiles, I see that you are, as ever, a welcoming, gracious host to all of my deputies.”

Derek turned around, and the Sheriff burst out laughing at the look on his face.

“Sorry, Derek, my son is a little overwhelming when you first meet him. Actually he remains overwhelming for at least 25 years after that, but I’ll let you know if it gets any easier. Stiles, this is Deputy Derek Hale, Derek, this is my son, Stiles.”

“Jeez, Dad, don’t sound so excited when you’re introducing me, it’s embarrassing.” The man - Stiles - paused for a second and then turned back to Derek.

“I can’t believe you’re a deputy! Dad, Derek and I have met, like, a hundred times already, I was starting to get worried he was stalking me, I’m glad I didn’t try to file a report, I probably would’ve gotten him on the phone and then he'd definitely have thrown away the file.”

The Sheriff looked at Derek, puzzled, and he realized he hasn’t said anything during the entire exchange.

“Um, yes sir, Stiles and I seem to keep bumping into each other around town, we’ve just never actually...introduced ourselves, I guess.”

Stiles laughed and grabbed the woman’s arm, “Al, this is the guy I faced off with to get that chocolate for you, I TOLD you he looked like he could kick my ass, and you scoffed, but look at the buff challengers I have valiantly faced to make sure you and the munchkin are well-fed and happy!”

“I wish you would stop calling her ‘the munchkin,’ Stiles, you know her name.” She smiled at Derek, “thank you for letting him have the chocolate. He’s ridiculous,” Stiles scoffed, “but I don’t know what Luna and I would do without him.” 

“Of course, it was no problem, he looked like he really needed it.” 

The Sheriff chuckled at that, and Derek startled. He’d forgotten his boss was still standing there. That seemed like a sign that he should shake it off and stop getting so caught up in this guy’s (Stiles’, what kind of name is Stiles, is there anything about him that doesn’t immediately raise 100 more questions) whirlwind. He’s standing there with his dad and his extremely pregnant girlfriend and so Derek should just hand him a beer and go talk to Parrish. 

“To answer your question from before, uh, yes, my dad brought it back from a business trip to Milwaukee. I was just going to put it in the cooler, but it should still be cold enough to drink, feel free to have as many as you want. It’s, um, it’s nice to meet you both.” 

God he’s the most awkward person in the world. It’s probably for the best that actually trying to flirt with Stiles isn’t an option, because clearly he can’t even rise up to basic chit-chat without sounding like a tenth grader. His siblings have always been amazing at this sort of thing. They’d have no trouble jumping in to the jokey atmosphere and playing along, asking the right questions about the baby, fitting in. But Derek has never had that skill, probably because he’s never needed to with them around. He'd always been comfortable with people he knows well but unsure on the way there. 

He grabbed a beer for himself before handing the rest to Stiles, who smiled at him and reached out to touch his arm.

“Thanks, Derek.” 

Derek turned away before he did something stupid like kiss the corner of Stiles’ unfairly beautiful mouth, and looked around to see if Jordan was somewhere so he could have a conversation about baseball and try to distract himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Night shifts are boring. Derek’s doesn’t mind them too much - he’s usually partnered with Boyd, who doesn’t mind silence in the car, and growing up with his ridiculous family gave him the skill to sleep on pretty much any schedule without too much trouble, but by 3:30 in the morning it got hard to keep his eyes open. In a town the size of Beacon Hills the only thing open after midnight was the Walmart past the overpass, and late night it wasn’t a bad place to drive the cruiser to try to scare off some of the low level criminal element. Boyd volunteered to stay in the car while Derek went in to get a couple of Red Bulls and he shouldn’t have been surprised when a too-familiar voice shouted his name a few minutes after he walked in.

“Derek! Whoa, if I’d seen you in uniform the first few times I probably would have put together who you were a lot faster, Dad tells stories about all the deputies and now that I know who you are I totally see it.”

Stiles was pushing a cart full of a frankly alarming amount of diapers, and as he was talking started loading the child seat full of cases of Monster.

Derek smirked and grabbed a four-pack of Red Bull. “I’m glad we don’t have the same taste in energy drinks, at least.”

“Ha! Finally, dude, though these are less necessary than the chocolate was, and than the whiskey looked like it was, and like the beer definitely was, and in fact I’ll probably get in trouble for bringing these home, so it probably would have been better if you’d stopped me from buying them, and when I get yelled at I’m going to say that it was your responsibility as an officer of the law to stop me and you failed and so any caffeine overdose is really your fault.”

He had thought, for a second there, that he could have a conversation with Stiles without completely losing track of what was happening. Clearly a pipe dream.

“Um, sorry? So did Allison have the baby? Congratulations.”

“No, not yet, thus the caffeine overload. She was due three days ago so we’re all sleeping in shifts and trying to be prepared to take her to the hospital at any moment, and everyone is a little on edge. Now that I say that out loud, maybe all this caffeine and sugar won’t help the mood, but I can’t keep up the schedule I’m on without a little chemical help, I theoretically need to be working and sort of functioning like an adult while we wait for Luna to decide she’s ready to meet us, you know?”

Stiles looked so excited at the prospect, so ready to meet his daughter, and Derek couldn't help but grin along with him. 

“I’m sure she’ll be beautiful, just like her parents. Good luck, Stiles.” 

Stiles’ grin faded, and he tilted his head at Derek like he did at the barbecue, like Derek was the mysterious one who didn't quite make sense. 

“Thanks, man. I’m sure you’ll hear about it when she’s born, my dad is freakishly invested in the whole thing. Expect balloons, and probably cake, and possibly a skywriter.”

“I mean, it’s really exciting, I can see why he’d be happy.”

“Yeah, babies are the best, right? Well, I’ll let you get back to your chemical enhancement so you can keep our fair city safe. It was good to see you, Deputy Hale.”

Stiles walked away, still half-grinning, and by the time Derek had stopped wondering why the Sheriff wouldn’t be over the moon about his first grandchild he realizes Stiles probably can’t hear him reply “good to see you too.”


	5. Chapter 5

Two days later, Derek picked up a day shift for Parrish. He’s not really supposed to switch shifts so often in a week, but Parrish’s girlfriend had apparently surprised him with a weekend away and Derek wasn’t busy. After the barbecue he’d been trying to spend more time getting to know his coworkers, and from the stories Parrish has told him his girlfriend doesn’t seem like the type to take no for an answer.

He figured the last-minute nature of the shift was as good an excuse as any for going out to lunch, and as he walked back into the building slurping the last of his Coke from the diner he spotted Stiles’s girlfriend with the pretty brunette from the barbecue walking into the station. They end up at the elevator at the same moment, and just as he wonders whether she remembers meeting him - 

“Derek, hi! Melissa, have you met Deputy Hale? Derek, this is my mother-in-law, Melissa McCall.”

Mother-in-law? Derek had heard around the station that the Sheriff’s wife had died about ten years previous and had assumed that the wedding band he wore was from that relationship.

“Hi, Allison. Hello, Mrs. McCall, nice to meet you, I’m Derek.”

“Oh please, Melissa is fine. John has told me all about you and what a great addition you’ve been to the department.” 

“We decided to pick up some lunch and walk it over for the Sheriff. I’m huge and uncomfortable everywhere I go, but Melissa claims walking is good for me at this point.”

Derek chuckled and noticed that Allison really did look ready to pop - according to what Stiles had said the other night she was at least five days past her due date now, and Derek can't imagine how uncomfortable she must be in the late June heat. 

Derek noticed a wedding ring on Melissa’s finger as she hits the button for the top floor of the station where the Sheriff’s office and most of the deputy desks were. Apparently his quest to get to know his coworkers better isn’t going as well as he’d hoped if he didn’t even realize his boss was married. 

The elevator creaked as it started pulling them up, and Allison joked that she was too heavy for public buildings and probably should have stayed home. Just as Derek and Melissa start laughing, there’s an actual jerk and the lights flicker.

“No. No way. My life is not a movie, and so I will not be getting stuck in an elevator while I’m in labor. That’s just not happening.”

The elevator stopped, and the emergency lights flashed on. Melissa helped Allison sit down against the back wall of the elevator, and Derek listened to her trying to keep Allison calm, but - 

“Did you say you were in labor?!”

“Yes, she’s in labor, but we’ve got plenty of time before anything is going to happen. First-time moms usually stay in early labor for about eight hours, and her contractions were still 20 minutes apart when we left the house. I’m sure she’ll be fine, and they’ll be able to get us out of here any second.”

Melissa seemed calm and incredibly competent, and Derek immediately felt less like panicking. She looked him up and down, nodded once, and turned around to start talking to Allison.

By the time Derek realized he should press the emergency call button and get them out of there it’s been a few minutes, and the emergency responder already knows that they’re stuck and has sent someone to help them. 

Derek gave Allison his cup of soda, remembering something he’s seen on TV about women in labor being allowed ice chips, and she glared at him but still took them and crunched on the ice loudly the entire fifteen minutes they waited to get rescued. 

After the initial panic, it’s a pretty boring wait. They chat about baby names, Melissa holds Allison’s hand while she goes through a contraction (Derek feels like it takes about half an hour, but Melissa reassures him it only lasted about a minute), and by the time the power turns back on the doors open on them all laughing hysterically at Melissa’s story about first time parents who came in to the hospital every day for a week thinking it was time to give birth, only for it to finally happen so quickly that the husband slept through the entire thing while his wife gave birth in their bathroom. 

Sheriff Stilinski met them at the elevator door and he and Derek helped Allison up. He and Melissa spoke quietly to each other for a moment, and the Sheriff turned back to Derek and Allison.

“Derek, would you drive Allison and Melissa to the hospital? I’m going to finish up here, pick up the boys, and meet you there.”

“There’s no way in hell I’m getting on that elevator again,” Allison snarled.

Derek and Melissa half-carry her down eight flights of stairs.


	6. Chapter 6

Walking in to Beacon Hills Memorial, Derek realized why he recognized Melissa at the barbecue - she’s a nurse there, and between police business and Cora’s skateboarding phase in high school he’d spent plenty of time sitting in the E.R. 

Because everyone knows Melissa, and apparently by extension knows Allison, they were settled in a private room only half an hour after they got to the hospital. Allison’s contractions were coming much more quickly, and Derek stood awkwardly in the room for about ten minutes before he realized he was mostly in the way. 

He should go home, he knows, but between their near-miss in the elevator and his run-ins with Stiles he feels strangely connected to the whole situation. He hopes it’s not that creepy to sit there until the Sheriff gets there and tells him what he needs done at the station. The waiting area in the maternity ward is pretty much empty, and the TV is playing an episode of House Hunters he’s seen at least three times, and he didn’t realize how tired he was from his schedule shift, and were these chairs always so comfortable?

Derek felt someone shaking his shoulder, and tried to push it away and snuggle back into the chair.

“Leave me alone, Mark, I’ll get up in a minute, Jesus.”

“Sorry, Derek, but the nurses are starting to worry you’re moving in,” a voice said, chuckling softly, and Derek realized he wasn't asleep in the ridiculously soft armchair in his brother’s living room.

He turned back over and blinked a few times, and sees Stiles standing over him looking exhausted and ecstatic. 

“Holy shit, did I miss it? Did Allison have the baby?”

“Yeah, dude, like an hour ago. I can’t believe you slept through it, between her screaming and my screaming I assume we woke up half the city. It’s past midnight, you really didn’t have to stick around.” Stiles grinned softly down at Derek, and it really wasn't fair that he looked so beautiful right when Derek was waking up.

“I wanted to make sure everything was ok, we had a rough afternoon -”

“My dad told me all about it - thank you so much for helping her out and getting her here! God, if I were in that elevator I would have absolutely had a panic attack and been useless to everyone, the ladies were lucky you were there to save the day.”

“Honestly I did panic, if Melissa hadn’t been there I think I would have tried to deliver the baby without thinking to press the emergency call button. Are Allison and the baby ok?”

Stiles laughed, and then glanced back at the door to Allison’s room.

“Luna,” he said, smile back at full force, “her name is Luna and she’s gorgeous, man, wait ‘till you see her. In fact, you wanna come see her? She and Ally are sleeping, and I think Scott’s done taking pictures for now, though that probably won’t last more than an hour.”

Derek does want to see her. He has always loved babies and hasn’t gotten to meet a newborn since his four year old cousin was born, but he’s pretty sure the sight of Stiles with his newborn daughter might actually kill him.

“I’m sure I’ll get the chance to meet her soon. I should get out of your hair, give you all some time to rest. God I should call the Sheriff, I left work six hours before my shift was over and never went back.”

“He knows you’re here, I sent him home a few minutes ago with Melissa so he could get some sleep too, don’t worry about it.” 

“Oh, good, then. I really should go, though. Congratulations, Stiles.” Derek stood and let himself look Stiles in the eye and touch the side of his arm. He’s not quite awake, and Stiles looked so happy, and he can’t help himself. 

Stiles smiled back at him a little less brightly, and Derek tells himself he must be imagining the disappointment he saw in Stiles’s eyes as he walks to his car.


	7. Chapter 7

Derek didn't see Stiles for a month - the longest it’s been since that first night at Trader Joe’s - and he knew it was crazy to miss him. Their interactions probably added up to about fifteen minutes of conversation total, and he’s busy with a new baby, and Derek had no illusions about the fact Stiles probably hadn’t thought about him at all. 

Beacon Hills is a small town, though, and he wasn't too surprised to run into Allison at Target on a Sunday afternoon. He spotted her from a few aisles away, and smiled at the way she was crouched over a stroller babbling to a very happy-sounding Luna. He started to walk over, and when he was about halfway there he saw Stiles’s friend Scott walk out of the aisle they were standing in front of and wrap his arms around Allison’s waist. He lifted her up, and she giggled before kissing him over the pack of diapers he was holding.

Derek stood there, stock still and shocked. Stiles and Scott had seemed so close, had apparently been friends since at least college, and this is how Scott treated him? Kissing the mother of his child in full view of anyone at Target on a Sunday, so basically ⅔ of Beacon Hills? And Allison! They had seemed so happy together, and Stiles had tried so hard to take care of her while she was pregnant, and he’d seemed so happy when their baby was born! By the time Allison noticed him and walked over, Derek had worked himself into a rage.

“Derek, hi! I never got the chance to thank you for everything, Luna and I are so glad you were there to drive us to the hospital! Stiles said you stayed all day, I wish you had been able to meet her that day, but better late than never I guess! Luna this is Deputy Derek, he spent all day with us the day you were born!”

Derek stared at her incredulously as she spoke. Was she just going to pretend that kiss hadn’t happened? Did she think Derek hadn’t seen her brazenly cheating on Stiles in the baby care aisle? Scott walked up and put his arm around Allison.

“Derek, what’s up! Stiles said you saved the day on Luna’s birthday, thanks so much man!”

“Speaking of Stiles…” Derek looked between them, waited a beat, and when he realized they weren't going to say anything, barreled on, “where is he? From everything I’ve seen he was very attentive while you were pregnant, I’m surprised he’s not helping out with the shopping now that you’ve had his baby!”

They both stared at him and Derek realized he may have started yelling. A quick glance around at the other shoppers staring at them confirmed his theory. 

“Dude, what?” Scott looked genuinely baffled, and Derek couldn't believe he was playing dumb.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, kissing his girlfriend in public where anyone could see, but Stiles is kind, and generous, and clearly loves you so much,” he turned back to Allison, who looked just as confused, “and I don’t know how you could give up all that, let alone for his best friend! Does he even know where you two are?”

Derek was yelling at Allison now, and so it took him a minute to realize that the noise he was hearing wasn't the baby fussing, but Scott choking back a laugh. Once Derek looked over, Scott lost control and burst into a full on belly laugh. 

“What the hell, Scott. Is this funny to you?”

“Derek - Allison and I are married.” He grabbed her left hand with his right, and held up his other hand, so Derek could see the matching bands on their fingers. “We’ve been married for two years, Stiles is our best friend and absolutely not Luna’s father unless he and Allison have been hiding something from me.”

“Yeah, Derek, Stiles was just helping out because...well...he’s Stiles. He loves us, and he loves Luna, and his work is flexible enough that he was able to stay with me while Scott finished up his last semester of school at Davis.”

Derek realized his mouth was hanging open in shock and clamped it shut. He thought back to every interaction he’d had with Stiles, how Stiles never actually talked about being with Allison, just about taking care of her, how Scott had been at the hospital when Luna was born, and realized he was a colossal idiot. 

“I am so sorry,” he said, feeling his face heat up, “I can’t believe I did that. I didn’t mean to make a scene, of course you wouldn’t cheat on anyone, I don’t know what I was thinking, this is so embarrassing -”

“Slow down, dude, you’re starting to sound like Stiles,” Scott said, with a laugh still in his voice, “this actually explains a lot. He said you seemed kind of uncomfortable around him, which totally makes sense if you thought he had a pregnant girlfriend and -”

“I noticed that he didn’t have a ring on,” Derek mumbled to Allison, “I didn’t even think to check if you had one.”

Scott grinned at Derek. “Makes sense that you’d check if he had a ring I guess,” and Derek had to get out of there immediately. Apparently Stiles wasn’t uninterested because he was in a relationship, he just wasn't interested in Derek. He could have made it clear that he was single any time over the last couple of months, and Derek was sure Stiles could tell Derek had a crush on him, but apparently Stiles didn't care. 

“I’m so sorry, again, for yelling at you and making assumptions. Luna is gorgeous, congratulations, I guess I’ll see you around.” Derek turned on a heel and walked away as quickly as he could without flat-out running, leaving the scotch tape and shaving cream in random aisles and heading straight to his car without turning back.


	8. Chapter 8

“Cora, I mean it, I’m fine. I’ve been working a lot and just needed a few days to veg out, it’s really not a big deal.”

Derek had been laying around his apartment for three days, ordering take-out and watching TV. He knew it was pathetic to be this hung up on a crush, both because he was a thirty year old man and he’d gotten over actual relationships with less angst, and because Laura and Mark had already come over to let him know he was being a drama queen. Their neighbor Mrs. Harris had witnessed the whole scene at Target and told his mother about it, his mother had asked his siblings what was wrong with him, and by the time they texted Derek about it he had drunk most of a bottle of wine and ended up telling them everything in their sibling group chat. He woke up the next morning with a faint headache, nausea that he thought was more shame-based than from his hangover, and his big sister sitting in the chair in his bedroom.

“Blergh, Laura, I’m going to make you give back your key if you’re going to use it to watch me sleep like a weirdo.”

“Aw, but Der-bear, you’re such an angel when you’re snoring and drooling.”

Laura had made him explain everything face to face, starting with the encounter at Trader Joe’s (“Ugh, so he’s the reason I didn’t get the good candy, he sounds like a jerk already.”), through the night Luna was born, leading up to the ridiculous encounter at Target.

“Look, Der, I can see why you’re embarrassed, but I don’t think it’s that bad. Every time you saw him he was with Allison, or he was taking care of her while she was pregnant, his dad’s wife is her actual mother-in-law for Christ’s sake! It’s confusing, and you’re not an idiot for getting confused. You are an idiot for moping when you have no idea what would happen if you asked him out, which you should do right now, and then he’s an idiot if he doesn’t see what a great guy you are and buy you dinner immediately. Well, maybe not immediately, because you smell disgusting and need to shower and shave, but as soon as you’re presentable.”

Derek waved her off with a promise that he felt fine, that he wasn’t upset, that he just needed some time to decompress after a stressful couple of months. He spent the rest of the day watching a marathon of Barefoot Contessa and not moving from his couch. The next day Mark came over and they had a very similar conversation, with the addition of three hours of Left 4 Dead, which actually made Derek feel better for a little while.

By the time Cora got there on day three of his moping period Derek was actually starting to feel pretty grimy, so he couldn’t be too angry when she immediately opened all of his shades and started gathering up dishes to take to the sink.

“You know, I actually knew Scott and Stiles in high school.”

Derek looked up from the paper plate he was prying off his coffee table to stare at his little sister.

“They’re a year older than me, but they were always really nice, we’re still facebook friends, and I follow Stiles on twitter.”

“Why are you telling me this? I already told Laura and Mark, and I’m sure they told you, it was just a dumb crush. He seemed awesome, but I knew he was taken, but apparently he wasn’t taken and didn’t care enough to clear that up, so apparently he doesn’t think of me that way. It’s not a big deal, happens all the time. I was so awkward every time we interacted, I don’t know why I thought he’d be interested anyway.”

Cora shook her head and walked over to Derek, pulling her phone out of her pocket.

“Did you ever stop to think maybe he thought you weren’t interested, seeing as you were treating him like he wasn’t an option? He doesn’t know you thought he was taken, so would it be crazy of him to interpret your actions as disinterest? I don’t know why you’re so hard on yourself, Der.”

Cora handed him her phone, and he stared at it for a second before he realized what he was looking at - the twitter page of someone named ‘@animalstiles’ scrolled down to two months prior.

Derek blushed and looked up at Cora, who was washing dishes with a smile on her face. He looked back down and kept reading.

Attached was a selfie of Scott and Stiles grinning in front of a wall of bottles - Derek realized this must be a picture of them at the liquor store a few minutes before he got there.

Attached to this tweet was a picture of Allison and Scott beaming at the tiny bundle of blankets in her arms. They look perfect together.

Derek looked up to find Cora, only to realize she’d finished the dishes and had gone to sit on the couch.

“So he was into me this whole time?”

“Looks like it, if he was thinking about it enough to tweet about it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I didn’t put it together that he was talking about you until the other day when you told us the whole saga - I knew something had been going on with you, something more than work, but I had no idea it was about a guy, let alone Stiles. Did you read all of it?”

Derek looked back down at the phone, and scrolled up until he got to Stiles’s most recent tweets.

The most recent tweet was from yesterday, and clearly Stiles had heard the whole story from Scott and Allison and somehow didn't think Derek was the dumbest person in city limits. Somehow, miraculously, he seemed to have as much of a crush on Derek as Derek does on him.

“Holy shit he likes me.”

“Der, seriously, I have no idea why you’re so shocked. I know you haven’t had great luck with dating, but you’re smart, kind, and almost as hot as me. Who wouldn’t want to date you?”

“Thanks, Cor. I just...you and Laura are so good at that shit, at meeting people and being charming, and I never learned how to do it.”

“You’re a lot better at it than you think you are. Honestly, you don’t have to be the center of attention at every gathering to make an impression. Being yourself is a much better strategy in the long run. Clearly you’ve made an impression on Stiles,” she said, waggling her eyebrows at him.

“Alright, alright, I’m great, I get it. You look like a lunatic when you do that, just fyi.” Derek said, chuckling.

“It’s pronounced ‘supermodel,’ Derek, fuck you. So you know, another benefit of having known Stiles in high school and still following him on social media is that he still has his phone number up on his private facebook account…”

“His private account?”

“Yeah, he has a fan page for his books, so he keeps his personal page pretty locked down. That’s really not the point I was trying to make, though…”

“Cora, I can’t just call him out of nowhere. Last time we talked face to face I congratulated him on being a new dad! Maybe I’ll run into him somewhere, or he’ll stop by the station to see the sheriff, and I can try to explain myself in person and apologize for yelling at his friends.”

Cora sighed and shook her head, “suit yourself. I’m texting you the number in case you change your mind, which I highly recommend, but it’s your journey.”

“Thanks for the advice, zen master Hale.”

Her face softened, and she moved to hug him “I think you two would be great together, but no matter what happens you have a lot of people who love you and want you to be happy. So get in the shower and get your shit together.”

He pressed his face into her neck and squeezed her tight, lifting her off the floor a little like he used to do when she was a teenager. “Thanks, Cor. I love you too.”

After she left he looked around his much cleaner apartment and decided that the moping period was officially over. He wasn't sure what to do about Stiles, but the knowledge that his crush wasn't totally unrequited was enough to have him whistling Carly Rae Jepsen as he went to take his first shower in three days.


	9. Chapter 9

The shower lasted about three minutes. Derek was rinsing shampoo out of his hair when he realized that his pipes, while old, had never banged for this long, and definitely not to the rhythm of shave and a haircut.

He turned his face into the spray to get the last of the shampoo off, grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist, and went to the door.

“Cora what did you forget? God you’re getting as bad as Laur, I _just_ got in the shower and -”

Derek opened the door and saw Stiles.

Stiles, who took one look at Derek and slapped his hand over his eyes hard enough that it sounded painful.

“Stiles! You’re...here.”

“You’re naked!” Stiles replied, strangled.

“Oh god, uh, give me a second to get dressed. Come in! Er, actually, wait out here for a second? I’ll be right back, two seconds.” Derek closed the door in Stiles’s face. Excellent start.

Derek ran to his bedroom to find something to put on, thinking a silent thank you to Cora for cleaning up the living room. He’s certain that Stiles heard him bash his shin against the coffee table and choke down a yell, and tugs on the first jeans he sees on the floor. He pulls on an olive green henley as he walks back towards his front door, bangs his other shin on the coffee table while the shirt is over his head, and is back to the door in under thirty seconds.

“Sorry about that, come in.” Stiles walked into the apartment, looked around for a second, and put down the paper grocery bag he was holding the whole time. The bag Derek didn’t even notice. Excellent police work, Hale.

“So, I hear you ran into the McCall’s in Target last weekend?”

“I am so sorry about that. I hope they know I didn’t mean to yell, I just...I mean, I thought that they were...well I guess they told you the whole thing.”

Derek was staring at his hands the whole time, his face steadily getting redder with every word out of his mouth.

“Hey, Derek, seriously, it’s fine. They thought it was hysterical, once they figured out what the hell you were talking about.”

“Yup. Hysterical. That’s the word I would use. Definitely not hideously embarrassing.”

“Dude, no, come on. Once I started thinking about it I realized it made a lot of sense - you never really saw the three of us together, and the whole Melissa and my dad thing is still confusing to people in our own family, and I was maybe a little more involved with the pregnancy than your average best friend because my options were sitting around my apartment writing by myself or hanging around their house being useful and buying cute tiny baby things and eating all the awesome junk food Ally had around, plus Scott was taking his last set of finals and so he couldn’t be around as much as he wanted to be, so it just made sense for me to take over and be there when he couldn’t, not that Ally couldn’t take care of herself of course, she’d kill me for even insinuating it, but it’s nice to have somebody around to tie your shoes once you can’t see your feet anymore, I guess, and it was nice for me to feel needed or whatever, and seriously I’ve been talking for like ten minutes please just tell me to shut up when I get like this, I know it’s annoying.” Stiles inhaled deeply like he had been saying his whole speech on a single breath, and looked at Derek expectantly.

“It’s not annoying. You’re not annoying.” Derek cursed himself in his head for not responding to any of the way more pertinent information Stiles had just shared with him, but when he looked back at Stiles’s face he was grinning at Derek.

“I’m glad you think so, because that’s kind of the other reason I’m here.”

Stiles turned around, and Derek realized they had been standing in the kitchen this whole time. Before he could open his mouth to suggest they sit down, or offer Stiles a drink, or have any normal, adult response to having an attractive man in your apartment, Stiles turned back around brandishing the paper bag.

“So after Scott and Allison finished making fun of me, which, fair warning, they’re going to do a lot of next time they see you, Scott told me something that I really hope is true.”

“Yeah?”

“They said that it’s possible my huge crush on you that they’ve had to listen to me pine about for months might not be unrequited after all, and that you might say yes if I asked you on a date?”

Stiles reached into the bag and pulled out two dark chocolate cookie butter bars and a DVD of Captain America, then shook them in what Derek thinks would be jazz hands if his hands weren’t full.

“I know I’m like, totally inviting myself over, and if you’re not into it, or dating me at all, that’s totally fine, but Scott said you seemed like you might be interested, and you totally defended my honor in front of most of the town when you thought he was stealing my woman, which, thank you by the way, and you’re just so cute, and nice, and my dad has been singing your praises for like a year so I already thought you were like the hero Beacon Hills deserved even before we met, and -”

“Stiles!”

Stiles stopped, shrugging as if to say “this is kind of the deal.”

“I...I couldn’t figure out why you were making fun of your dad for being excited for the birth of his first grandchild.”

“HA! To be fair, Luna is pretty exciting. But it makes me nervous, because this means when I have kids I’m going to have to stop him from trying to declare a municipal holiday on their birthdays. He claims there’s some arcane county law that allows it, as sheriff, but even if there were the city council would have a field day, and - mmf!”

Derek walked over to Stiles, grabbed his face, and kissed him. He thinks he hears something clattering to the floor, but he can’t be bothered to figure out what it is because Stiles is kissing him back, wrapping his arms around Derek’s shoulders, and Derek is pretty sure it was worth every ridiculous minute of the last three months to finally have this man in his arms.

“Yes,” Derek says, pulling away and smiling at him, “of course I want to date you. As long as you don’t have a pregnant girlfriend, I’m in.” Stiles laughed.

“No girlfriends or boyfriends, pregnant or otherwise, just a goddaughter I’m probably going to rope you into babysitting with me, an editor whose existence I am the bane of, and a codependent relationship with Scott.”

“I can definitely deal with that.”

Stiles grinned, leaned forward, and kissed him again.

He's still finding smears of chocolate and cookie butter in his couch weeks later, and the DVD never makes it past the kitchen floor.


	10. Epilogue

“You’d seen my twitter and knew I had a crush on you when I came over? You jerk! I was so nervous I thought I was gonna puke on your doorstep, and that was before you answered the door naked and wet! You could have put me out of my misery so much sooner!”

“I know, but I felt like I should apologize for yelling at Scott and Allison first, and then I got flustered, and, well, you’re kind of hard to interrupt once you get going….”

“Rude. True, but rude. Have you been twitter stalking me since then? I feel like I would have noticed you following me unless you have a secret creeper account with a different name, which is what I’m pretty sure my editor does because she always seems to email me three minutes after I tweet about not writing, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if she were psychic, she’s honestly terrifying, you know, you’ve -”

Derek leaned over and kissed him, just a gentle press of his lips, and pulled away.

“You’re less hard to interrupt now.”

“SO rude. Also, I’m pretty sure we both have nothing to do this afternoon, so nothing has to be less hard, if you know what I mean.” Stiles waggled his eyebrows in a way Derek absolutely does not find attractive, because that would just be ridiculous, and oh god he’s too far gone. “But first, wait, you didn’t answer my question!”

“Question?”

“Have you been lurking on my twitter page like the secret creeper I can tell you would be if given the slightest opportunity?”

“Who’s the rude one? And no, Cora showed me on her phone the one time, I don’t have a twitter.”

Stiles smiled as he pulled out his phone, typed something, and put it away.

“We’re making you a twitter account. You don’t have to say anything, you can just follow me and Scott and Allison and Mark Ruffalo, though I think you’d like it if you tried it.”

“Fine, but I get to pick my username.”

“What’s wrong with my username?!”

“You’re a professional adult with a sex pun as a twitter handle, Stiles.”

“Sex pun!” he spluttered “inappropriate, Derek, jeez, it’s just a reference to delicious In-n-Out fries, it’s not my fault your mind is in the gutter.”

“Whatever you say, babe. I think mine will just be my name, though.”

“But Der! There are so many good puns for Hale! You could be HaleYes! Or HaleFire! Or GoToHale! Or HaleToTheChief! Or HaleStorm!”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh man, y'all, my first fic! I hope you like it, and also I heavily endorse both trader joe's dark chocolate cookie butter bars and spotted cow beer. also canadian club whiskey, as long as you're not using it to self medicate. 
> 
> I used simulator.com to make all those fake tweets.
> 
> My tumblr is lallybyrne.tumblr.com if you have questions/comments/tyler hoechlin gifs to share.
> 
> thanks for reading!


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